Tuesday, August 9, 2011

On writing, again: finding clarity

Tonight I write from a laptop, a MacBook Pro to be exact, though I like the challenge of the iPhone blog post from the other night. If you are trying to grasp this logic, it's okay, I have not yet worked it out in my own mind.

The big subject on my mind lately is writing – in all of its various forms. And the flip side, for me anyway, feeling scattered as I keep up with other roles in my professional life that mix up a variety of skills: creative and professional writing, graphic design, web design including HTML and CSS coding, the occasional image editing, managing relationships with outside organizations and overall project management with lot's of hands-on involvement. The list can actually go on much longer but I need to stop myself before I completely bore you and myself.  Besides, it's all on my LinkedIn profile for those who want to know more.

I find myself vehemently seeking out focus. Focus in my personal life and professional life. And balance, that would help. Over the past few years my professional role has grown significantly, which is a great thing as it has brought writing our of dormancy and back into the forefront – kind of where I left it a few years after college – while allowing my other skills to flourish. Only now it's back with a [insert burning, raging, or other synonymous adjective here] passion, rapidly consuming my brain when I am attempting to focus intently on a project using five or more of the skills listed above.

And that leads me to this moment as I type this blog post. I know, this wasn't all that concrete, really more of a release. Sharing these thoughts rather than keeping them locked up inspires me to write rather than watch TV or waste time on Facebook. It's helping me reclaim my focus as I go through my scattered day. Seems to be working.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

On my return to school and writing

I must be insane choosing to write this post with my iPhone. Blame it on overtiredness - it is almost 1AM, afterall - and I don't know what surprises lie ahead with the wonders of autocorrect and a very small touchscreen keyboard. I like to challenge myself, even on the most mundane level, though it tends to be more masochism than sensing accomplishment. I suppose if I were anyone else, I would be a self-loathing monk flogging away nightly in a remote monastery atop a 1,000-foot cliff overlooking the beautiful Mediteranean seaside city below, always out of reach yet so enchanting.

So this brings me to where I find myself now. I have overcome a major hurdle in my life, pursuing a masters degree, and most importantly, in writing. Last night I completed my first week at the WestConn MFA Writing residency, I knew from the first few minutes in my first workshop with the talented author Dan Pope that I had indeed found my new home. Actually, my old home surrounded by talented, uninhibited artists from all walks of life - a critical facet missing from my personae since... I don't know when. This group of students and mentors, made up of many established professionals and some younger aspiring creatives, welcomed us new students as if we were never strangers. The talent this group exudes is mind-blowing, to use one of my overused cliches, and I am proud to now be affiliated with them.

So enough gushing for tonight, I need to be able to sleep without the feeling of having turned into the "sensitive male" that I despised so much in the 90s. Not that I have a problem with guys showing emotion, I have a stoic reputation to maintain (really?), and those sensitive male types need to get over their self-pitying watery-eyed selves.

I have no idea where I am going with this and I am too tired to review and edit. Probably a total waste of a post riddled with errors and nonsense considering I consider myself a writer, I forget what I said, I think. I wonder if my surreal lucid state kicked in during any of this? That said, good night world, time to start the real writing in the morning.